5-year-olds on set
Before I start I would like to say that please credit this fan account to TheSiwonDiaries UK as I am an admin of that fanbase. We have a twitter/tumblr so feel free to credit either. Follow us if you’re not already doing so!
By the way there are probably tons of mistakes as the first time I wrote it my battery died and none of it got saved T__T Second time I was too lazy to proof read because it took forever to write it!
So, I’m sure you are all curious as to how I managed to get such an amazing opportunity to go meet Super Junior backstage. This fan account will probably be longer than needed because I tend to ramble but I’ll try not to leave out any details! ^^
For a while now I had a feeling that Super Junior were going to come to London and I think we all knew that it was going to happen at some point but we just had no clue when. I wanted their trip to London to be special and memorable. Super Junior have always been special to me ever since I became a fan in early 2007. I decided to make them each a jar full of handmade origami lucky stars. Each jar was personalised with a member’s name and had “SS5 London Super Show 5 London” written in blue glitter. The colours were chosen according to the member’s favourite colours and of course what materials I had available to me. Here are some of the gifts below.
It took me several months to actually make them because 1) I was working full time (I work as an IT Analst) 2) I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was only able to make a bit at a time so I would not make my condition worse. I ended up making 11 jars for 11 active members. Sorry Yesung and Leeteuk but I ran out of time T.T Super Junior mean a lot to me, in fact so much so I did one of my in class university projects, at Queen Mary University of London, on Super Junior. I developed a twitter app that tracked when each member was talked about and the popularity of each member which was displayed visually. Also depending on the result a SuJu song was also played! xD It was interesting to see how popularity changed across the time of day. Oh and for those of you who said I looked old…>.> I’m only 21 and I turn 22 next month! Sorry for rambling >.> I got sidetracked there!
So each jar needed about 400 stars and there were 11 jars..400X11 well you guys do the maths!
I was determined to pass this on to them so I wrote a letter to OnionProduction detailing my project and I told them about how difficult it was for me to make the stars because of my arthritis. I also told them about my other illnesses (which I won’t discuss here) and how much Super Junior meant to me. I only asked for the opportunity to pass on the gifts to a staff member and I made it clear I did not need to meet them personally, my only wish was to just have the gifts passed on.
I wrote to them a few weeks before the concert and about 12 days before I gave up hope on them responding but I needed to pass the gift on. I contacted Wembley Arena who gave me permission to leave the gift at reception to be passed on to Super Junior. From this news alone I was ecstatic and did a happy dance because all I wanted was for them to get the gift.
I completely forgot about OnionProduction at that point. It was Friday 1st November, a typical dreary London day. The sky was filled with grey clouds and the ground covered with rain puddles; this is London…my home. That day I was having a bad day and had a late shift at work so I did not get a break until 4pm. As usual during my break I would eat and check my personal emails. Normally I don’t check the fanbase emails as there are usually but today my instincts told me otherwise.
There it was…the email that had a different subject from all the others, a different type of sender from all the others and of course the email that changed my life.
The moment my eyes glanced across it I felt nervous and kind of sad as though I had been already rejected. Call me a pessimist, though I think I’m more of a realist, but I did not think the email would contain good news. My emotions were all over the place like a rollercoaster ride and they should not have been because Wembley Arena already agreed to pass it on.
So I opened the email, my eyes scanned the words and then I put my phone away. Clearly I did not absorb any of the words because the next thing I did was boil the kettle to make a cup of tea. Hey I’m British I drink tea all the time! As the water bubbled next to me my thoughts drifted back to the email and realisation hit me. I read the email 10 more times and eventually the truth sunk in. A smile smile crept onto my lips – the first smile of the day. Before I knew it that smile stretched into a huge grin.
I honestly wanted to tell the world and all of you but I was not allowed or the opportunity would have been taken away. I was only allowed to tell my family, my best friend and my donsaeng who would be attending the concert with me that day.
Since I was still on break, I abandoned my tea and headed out into the corridor and called my husband (yes I’m married xD). The first thing I told him was “I’m eloping with Siwon and Super Junior” and he replied with “ohh?? Is that so honey?” I started nodding and burst into tears not that he could see over the phone . It was embarrassing…my colleagues could have come out into the corridor at any point!
The next few days were a blur, work was busy and everything felt so surreal like a dream reality would soon wake me up from. SS5London alone felt like a dream but this was more than that. They don’t teach you how to handle your emotions for situations like this in school! They really should ¬__¬
Over the next few days I corresponded with my contact and it was decided I would meet Super Junior before the concert. I provided my contact details and was waiting for the staff member’s contact details who would take me back stage. Those details never came so I thought they forgot about me. Despite that, I was on a high because Donghae & Kyuhyun waved from their window and it was cute. That must have been the sign I needed because next thing I knew I was being called by an unknown number. I’m normally weary of picking up unknown calls but I answered.
It was the phone call that confirmed my fate.
I wanted to shout out with joy but of course it had to be kept a secret so I just whispered to my dongsaeng.
I remember Siwon at the window jumping up and down like a dork, showing the peace sign and waving a light stick what a dork! Then of course I realised I would be meeting that dork.
The doors opened at 6:30pm but I wouldn’t be meeting the staff till 7:15pm so I went inside the arena and decided on a meeting point with my dongaeng. I headed back out and that’s when lightening struck tearing up my yellow brick road. Nothing is ever too good to be true right? Wembley Arena were positive on making sure my day was ruined.
The security guard at the reception would not let me out and saying if I left I would not be let back in. My friend had the box with the gifts so I needed to get it off her.
I tried to reason with the security guard who eventually said if my friend came to the door he’ll let her pass the box. When she did come the security guard wouldn’t let her pass it through. I wanted to yell out many colourful words at that point. He then said my friend had to pass it through security and I do understand they have to check it but why not tell us that in the first place.
When we got to security they tried making us go back to the reception door. Of course I was not having this, I didn’t want to be late and I was already nervous. Eventually they let my friend pass it through and relief rushed through me.
The next part was the waiting game, waiting for the staff and waiting for Super Junior. Little did I know that my battle with Wembley Arena was not over.
The staff picked me up and they were incredibly nice. I felt like an idol having not just ONE translator but TWO translators! They wouldn’t even let me carry my own things and said all I had to carry was the gift box. Probably for the best because I was scared I would drop it, they were glass jars after all! The staff took me through the backstage doors and it was a maze I swear, if I was left on my own I would have been lost for the entirety of the concert. We passed one security guard who asked for badges, and did not want to let me through but the staff assured him I was security cleared.
I couldn’t think straight I was just following the staff like a little lost penguin!
Before meeting Super Junior I had to wait backstage and when I say backstage I mean the stage was a few metres from me and I could see ELF waiting for super junior. I was trying to take in every second no ever millisecond and every inch of the room I was in. I could see these black tents with all of super junior’s clothes for the concert all ready for them to quickly change into. There were so many screens with all the views from different angles. At this point I hadn’t even seen Super junior but my emotions were like fireworks bursting into a range of colours in the sky. Every new thing I noticed…BOOM went my heart.
I was supposed to meet them at 7:30pm but they were running late and still getting ready for the show. My two staff companions tried to calm me down. They asked me what I wanted to say to them and who my favourite was, I said Siwon but of course I love all the members. I then joked about saying instead of them being my oppa I could be their noona because I’m so tall compared to most of the members xD They did so well trying to calm me but I couldn’t help but let my heart beat race out of control and let my fingers tap nervously on the gift box.
As the staff members prepared me guess who walked straight passed me! DONGHAE! He glanced at me but he was adjusting his mic and trying to sort it out with the staff members so of course I couldn’t disturb him. The beautiful creature with the most kind eyes I’ve ever seen! I think that’s when I really realised that I was meeting Super Junior and I was backstage treading on the same ground as them…lets just say my heart was playing drum beats at a really high tempo. Blame Eunhyuk because he decided to pass me next! Eunhyuk must have some super powers he stole from EXO because he shocked me and I was frozen on the spot for a good few minutes literally!
Then an SM staff came out who would be taking us in to see Super Junior. He took us through some corridors but then came an obstacle. Remember how I told you about Wembley Arena trying to ruin my day? Well they were certainly trying hard. The security guard wouldn’t let us through because of the gift box and I had the box and he was saying it wasn’t authorised. He wouldn’t listen to the staff who clearly told him I was security cleared. We were forced to go a different way. We ended up walking all the war around Wembley Arena. The only thing I could focus on was putting one foot in front of the other and not fall over. I was let into a hair/make up room. It was empty accept it had 4 chairs on one side and a table adjacent to it with juice and cups on it. There was also a mirror and dressing table around the corner and a bathroom. The staff reminded me of the things I should say in Korean but my brain was so messed up all I could remember was Annyong! They told me I could use the mirror if I wanted to check my hair and make up but my was reaction was like…errr…I don’t want to touch anything…my hand is too shaky I’d just make it worse!
I was feeling really thirsty and I didn’t have my water bottle with me. I had to be really cheeky and ask for some juice. So yes I ended up drinking the same juice as Super Junior but honestly my mouth was just really dry and I needed something to resolve that and the fact it was SuJu’s Juice was just a bonus.
Suddenly the door opened and I thought it was them but to my relief it was just a camera guy. Relief you might wonder? Well I was still nervous as hell and part of me didn’t want to meet them because I knew I would screw up somehow. Like I did want to meet them, of course I did but emotions!
The staff then told me I might be filmed and photographed and asked if they should find out for definite for me. I declined because I’d rather pretend cameras weren’t there so I could be more natural. The staff tried to reassure me saying I’m so bubbly and confident I’ll be fine but I felt completely opposite of those things. They told me if I wanted a high five or a handshake but I said I want a hug but SuJu probs wouldn’t want me to hug them *insert sad face* BUT THEN the staff members said… “You’re their fan! They wouldn’t refuse you so go for it!”
So yeah I just got permission to hug Super Junior…let the ground please take me away.
I was supposed to get a 10 minute fanmeeting but since they were running late and some members were still getting make up done it had to be shortened and 5 members entered the room. I was still practising my Korean with the staff members I didn’t notice the door open.
Before I knew it Siwon was beside me rubbing his hands nervously…it’s funny why would Siwon be nervous?? Beside Siwon was Kangin, Shindong, Ryeowook and sungmin in that order!
So I had a whole Korean speech memorised but the moment they opened their mouth and said hello all of that went out of my head and I whispered hello back. Siwon took out his hand and shook my hand and told me “I’m Siwon” In my head I was thinking of course I know who you are.
I shook all the member’s hands and then Siwon asked me what my name was which of course I nervously replied “My name’s Rezwana.” They all repeated a few times not sure if they were pronouncing it right so again I said “mmmhmm Rezwana.”
The way they repeated my name over and over again was as if gods were putting it down as a law…just them uttering my name was that amazing.
I couldn’t get over how beautiful and amazing they looked, pictures did not do them justice. Check out the pictures below to see what they were wearing at the time. All of them apart from Sungmin were wearing their costume ready for their first performance. Cutiepie Sungmin was all wrapped up warm in his navy blue double breasted coat with gold buttons.
Siwon asked me how I was and I was like “I’m tired but you must all be so tired! How do you do it!” The staff member then told them in Korean I was at the venue since 6am! Siwon’s eyes popped out and all the members looked so surprised.
Siwon: You were here since 6am? That’s so early!
Me: I know it’s early but what about you guys you must be tired!
Kangin: Did you know we went to Mexico?
Me: I do know, did you like it there? Oh if you’re tired drink lots of coffee…actually no….you’re in Britain you have to drink tea, CHA!
Kangin: Do you know red bull?
Me: I know red bull but I don’t like it that much, I prefer monster.
Kangin and Siwon looked at each other at this point
Kangin: Jagerbomb! Do you like it? We can just drink that!
Siwon: Jagerbomb, that’ll help us stay awake.
Me: Well if you want to go for a drink (I motioned taking a drink) I’m down for a drink anytime.
Siwon: Oh so you know a good place to get a drink?
Me: Well I have lived in London all my life so I know a few places but I won’t tell you unless you take me too! ^^
ShinDong: Have you been a fan for long?
Me: Since I was 14.
They all sorta nodded with approval. Sungmin made a cute little face. Gosh!
I really wish Wook and Min spoke to me a bit more but I guess they were the furthest away and were least confident with their English even though we had translators there. They were Super smiley and nice though. I wanted to take them home with me!
They then asked me who my favourite member was…and I said GUESS! ^^ I was making their life difficult.
Siwon then had to leave because his cousin called him.
I then had to give out the present to each of them.
I gave Kangin’s one first and he went down on one knee to take it. It was so cute.
ShinDong: oo Kangin ah..he favourite?
I smiled wryly at them and said “maybe”
I continued to give out the rest and they all looked into my eyes and said thank you! I wanted to melt…Sungmin was seriously melting me down like ice cream! It was funny because wook and min had to look up to get eye contact even with their shoe lifts, bless ‘em xD
Kangin then took hold of my hand with both of his hands and he had the gift in his hand. I was so startled…Kangin was holding my hand up close to his face.. I was so shocked…My face was so hot I’m pretty sure you could have fried some eggs on my face!
Kangin: Look into my eyes…
I looked everywhere but his eyes.
Kangin: Listen to me, look into my eyes
Nervously I looked into those warm chocolate eyes. I was on cloud 9 or 7th heaven whatever you want to call it…Kangin knew he had complete power over me.
Me: I’m looking
Kangin: Look into my eyes, thank you.
As I said you’re welcome, he kissed my hand/his hand. I seriously think these Super Junior members have me on a wanted poster or something and are trying to kill me…the electricity was already at high voltage when he held my hand but when he kissed it…this is when F(x)’s electric shock started playing in my head “e-e-electric shock.”
Eventually Kangin let go of my hand.
Kangin: Oh do you know Exo?
I glanced at the door since I knew Kris and Suho were guests.
Me: yeah.. KRIS! (I literally yelped it out and I already have a naturally loud voice so for me to yell and point at him was scaring the poor boy)
Kris nodded at me and smiled then disappeared. I scared him away ^^;;;
So yeah Kangin I know Kris…I basically made you deaf when I yelled in your ear.
So again they asked me who my favourite was and I whispered Siwon…
Kangin sorta thrusted out his arms like in a Whaaaaa style
Kangin: I don’t want it, here take it back
Me (with a super sad face): but…I like you too…
Kangin: I’m joking!
Me (all perked up): Really??
Kangin: No, seriously I don’t want it.
Kangin (patting my shoulder): I’m joking I’m joking!
So next it was picture time! The staff members took my phone so I could have my own pictures too.
When Shindong saw my Samsung Galaxy note he said, “oh Samsung, very good” haha they really do like their Korean products don’t they?
So they took a while to arrange themselves, at first Kangin and Shindong were on my right and Ryeowook and Sungmin on the left but I think the height difference was too obvious so they rearranged us to how we are below. I was slouching a bit, I’m actually taller than both Wook and Min! I’m 5ft 8.5 with my boots that I was wearing I was 5ft 10 but keep in mind that they all had a fair heel on their shoes and shoe lifts xD My guess is those two are 5ft 6, ShinDong is my height and Kangin is 5ft 10 ish.
The first picture we’re all doing the peace sign and cutie Kangin is kissing his gift.
Now we’re all doing the peace sign! Look at their smile! Kangin why are you biting your lip? Trying to be sexy or macho or something?
I don’t think words could really describe the emotions I was feeling at that point but I am hoping the pictures show how I’m feeling.
Happy and in heaven!
I was SUPER Happy to happy to have taken a picture with them but I was slightly sad Siwon had to disappear. I’m sorry if that makes me sound ungrateful, honestly I am the most grateful person in the world. I just wanted my bias to be in it as well!
So then SM’s photographer took official pics and the four of them said “we are Super Juni-OR!” The staff made me do the pose with them. I felt too shy so I only did it for the first one and for the rest I just stood there like an over happy melon.
This whole thing was filmed but I think I did pretty well ignoring the cameraman. It helped that I was incapable of feeling too much from being overwhelmed from SuJu.
The members had to leave now but not before I opened my arms and hugged each of them! It must have been awkward for them because they patted me on the back with each hug. But it was still nice :P
The members started leaving but then Shindong and Kangin got some apple juice…the same carton I had my juice from earlier. They were writing something as well but dunno what it was. Just then the staff reminded me about my CD so I quickly took it out. I ended up taking out my toothbrush case instead of a sharpie ^^;;;
Kangin and Shindong signed my U single for me. When ShinDong saw it he was all “omo” and was definitely surprised I had such an old CD.
Here’s the signed CD guys!
I was feeling more than satisfied despite having no picture with Siwon. The whole experience was incredible. I saw so many members and got to actually talk with 5 of them! Plus I saw Kris from Exo who is my fave from Exo. What dream was not fulfilled here? I don’t think I can ever ask for anything again after all this.
Part of me feels like I didn’t deserve any of this but it has happened and it’s up to the world to decide. Fate gave me some misfortune with my life so for me it felt like life was trying spark some happiness back into it. Either way, whatever the reason, whatever the cause I am very thankful including to all of you! So many of you have been so kind and supportive and I am so happy to have known every single one of you.
So…I turned right out of the make up room and guess who was outside taking pictures.
My bias, my everything (well apart from my husband but sorry hubby I was not thinking of you at all at this point).
He was there blocking the corridor so I couldn’t even walk past him. It’s like time was saying, no need to rush…Super Junior are already late you might as stare at Siwon’s back a little more.
I whispered to the staff that I wanted a pic with Siwon but it’s ok because evidently he was busy. One of his managers kept trying to drag him away. Once he was done taking pics with the other person he turned around and literally almost crashed into me. If I didn’t take a step back he would have crashed into me.
The manager tried to take him away but Siwon that handsome fella, my big bro, my friend…
Staff: She wants a picture with you
Me: Is that ok? I know you’re busy, don’t worry about it!
I smiled at him to assure him I understood. I didn’t want to be selfish and keep him when he was rushing.
But of course Siwon being the gentleman he was…
Siwon: Of course! Lets take a picture
I could feel his manager spitting fire at me impatiently ^^;;
So there we were standing there when the staff and I realised we didn’t have my phone out. My phone was in my jeans pocket and it was locked and so I took it out and had to unlock it for the staff. Guess who was my lock screen wallpaper and main screen background?
Yep Siwon…you guessed it. Siwon why were you looking at my password…
Siwon: oh..that’s me.
I was flustered beyond flustered and my cheeks were so red. You can see how red they are in the pic and considering I had blusher on as well…that didn’t helped.
All I did was nod and mumble “mmhmm” and bury face in my hand. I was so embarrassed! Siwon saw that my phone had his pic as my wallpaper! KYAAA! I wanted the floor to eat me alive. Forget the photo just hide me away world was all I was thinking.
While I was hiding my face you know what the dork did…put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. We were so close together our top half of our bodies were completely touching. Plus with the angle we were in the only choice I had was to put my hand on his back or arm around his waist. You can actually see a bit of my hand. So yes…I casually put my arm around his waist…he didn’t even flinch. It was weird how we both became completely comfortable. We both leaned our heads together and then the perfect moment of my life was taken.
I admire Siwon so much. He’s an incredible person. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all how amazing he is.
By the way Siwon is definitely 6ft 2 ish. Both of my younger brothers are that 6ft 1 and skinny like him funnily enough, so, I am used to taking pics with tall, skinny boys. So my gauge for his height should be accurate.
So here I was thinking that was it Siwon is leaving but then Siwon faced me.
Me: Thank you for everything. Good luck with the show
Siwon put his hand on my shoulder.
Siwon: No worries, thanks and have fun!
With one final glance at each other, with one final smile and with one final silent goodbye we parted.
So that was my backstage experience. I really hope you enjoyed reading it but it doesn’t end there.
I forgot to give the boys my British flag I got for them so during he concert I threw the flag on stage…well I attempted to…I flopped miserably…it just missed missed the stage and it just so happened Siwon walked past and notice. He turned and looked at me. He gave me eye contact and nodded obviously recognising me from backstage. Even my dongsaeng noticed he was looking at me and nobody else but she thinks it’s because he thought I was pathetic for throwing the flag…¬__¬ Ain’t my donsaeng nice…xD
Either way, whatever the feeling was behind the eye contact, smile and nod…it was meant for me.
And now my fanaccount is finished!
Please remember to credit TheSiwonDiaries UK and to follow us on twitter and tumblr!
Sorry for all the mistakes!
LOVE YOU ALL! You guys will always be my every lasting friends. <3
Little kid Cho Kyuhyun doesn’t know what a woman is doing during her 4 hours labor time
I love how Yesung takes more selcas than most of the female idols I know.. all hail the selca king!